The Clueless Gardener

"fanaticus sine potestas"

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Feeling a bit ashamed after "Black Friday" and "Cyber Monday"??

...if you have doubts that camping out in front of WalMart and pepper-spraying fellow shoppers is the way to fulfillment, you might like this video.  It's an education!

Stay on that site for other interesting and inconvenient truths, whilst swigging from water bottles filled with de l'eau from Fiji...

Monday, November 21, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

I guess I shouldn't get ahead of myself here...first holidays first!
Behold here my autumn 'landscape' arrangement, forced on me to do at
the most recent floral class I have since escaped from...

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Monday, November 14, 2011

next quest !

This is an unsheared Christmas tree.  This is what I'm ready for.  I'm so tired of overfull, artificially bushy trees that don't hold ornaments anyplace but against the very tips of the boughs.  Scrawny is the word for this year's tree---but how can I find such a tree,  considering tree-shearing is the #1 objective of  tree farms??   Anybody got any suggestions?

they're doin' videography.....

Since wrapping season's coming right up, Clueless gathered on-camera talent, cinematographer, and shiny props to create "How to Wrap a Present Without Tape," soon available on YouTube.   Sorry, 3M, but tape on gorgeous wrapping paper is a total faux pas.  Which, see.

Monday, November 07, 2011

"Plant all the way up until the ground freezes" says the instruction.  Doesn't mention freak blizzards!

Thursday, November 03, 2011

OOPS, I did it again

Hope springs eternal when one is clueless, like me.  Recall that ghastly flower arranging course I took last May, where I made a table centerpiece that looked like something out of a MadMen awards dinner?  Well, the NYBotanical Garden revamped their entry-level Floral Courses, so I thought maybe they had gotten the message that the floral world is actually presently functioning in the 21st century.  So, impulsively and dumb-dumb-dumbly, I signed up for "Floral Design Fundamentals--Style."   Below behold the first class's result...two oasis-based inert centerpieces, one already picked apart, formerly featuring tall cattails jammed into a base of mums, supposedly resembling a landscape.  The other, I guess, looks like a giant cupcake.  That is my personal bastardization of so-called Biedermeier style.  Because the styles we had to do were just so bad, and the teach acknowledged as much, I just acted out.  The hapless teacher was himself a last-minute substitute who didn't really know quite what to teach us, in that he recognized the curriculum was a tad archaic, but was required to teach it nevertheless.  I feel sorry for the chap, but nevertheless, what do I do?  There are no refunds if I drop out.  I wrote a complaint letter to the director of the program, and hubby predicted I'd never hear from far he wins the bet.
I mean, it's fun shoving ugly flowers into oasis for three hours, but to what end?  Sigh.   Have another slice of meatloaf, or would you prefer cupcake?

have some mum meatloaf!  extra yummy, with a green, spongy center!

it's larger than a softball, smaller than a volleyball....but what IS it?

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Wednesday, November 02, 2011

just before the blizzard, I picked the last flowers in the garden!

nickis and verbenas...old faithfuls both.
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